Poseurs. A review.
Don't you just hate them.
They're everywhere. In your city and in my city. In America you have your skater boys and hoodie-clad gangsta rapper wannabes. In the UK you have your chavs who wear the latest sporting apparel, no matter how loutish they may look.
Singapore of course, is a nation that always endeavours to top everything. Topping the lists for busy ports, outrageous world records, lack of free speech. And we have exactly 3 different kinds of poseurs.
1. True Ah bengs
These are the real stuff dude. Rising from the ashes of Singapore's heritage of chinese gangsterism, they are people you really should avoid. They not only feel at ease with their loutish and disgraceful behaviour, but embrace it as a form of counterculture.
The true ah bengs have a love for anything shiny, outlandish or attention-seeking. Huge garish tattos cover their arms. Earrings. Many of them. And I'm not taking about any specific gender. They brandish the latest mobile phones - though modded with disgraceful flashing lights - and are not afraid to show the whole world how terrible Chinese pop tunes can sound when they're converted into ringtones.
And they speak almost exclusively in hokkien. But it's not really an effective form of communication, when most of what they say are in reference to various genitalia of both sexes, and suggestions to check out their own mothers.
Avoid them at all costs. They can be nasty. In the late 90s, they were well known for 'staring incidents', where a group of ah bengs would accost a lone guy, accusing him of having stared at them or one of their girls. This often ended up in fights. Whether the poor guys actually stared at them still remains a mystery.
2. Jay-Chou-and-Jolin-Tsai-wannabes-who-end-up-acting-like-ah-bengs (JCAJTWWEUALAB)
Actually when I think about it, those JCAJTWWEUALABs are actually quite a pitiful bunch. Due to their misfortune of having a really retarded taste of music, they worship these idols and adopt their garish and lame culture. What's with the badly-dyed hair and poorly-matched outfits? I'm sure they didn't mean to look terrible, but dude, this is just so wrong. Please pick your sartorial idols more wisely.
They're strongly infuenced by Taiwanese culture, and can quote you a biography of any Taiwanese star, in addition to humming a couple of tunes from each. It's quite impressive that they can do that, since they all look the same, and their music all sound the same, save for some subtle differences that really takes a keen eye or ear to notice. Honestly I can't see the point of filling up one's CD collection with songs that all sound the same.
There's not much to say about them. But they aren't a very civilised bunch, having almost as much social disregard as their true ah beng counterparts.
3. Fairly-Uninvolved-Classy-Kids-Earning-Rights-to-Showoff (FUCKERS)
As you can tell from their elegant-sounding name, they are the worst of the lot. These FUCKERS, like the name says, are fairly uninvolved in the psyche of the common man. They may pretend to act like they're like any average kid and all, but they can NEVER UNDERSTAND how it feels like to be average. (Refer to the lyrics of Pulp's Common People)
They are classy. Or at least they act like it. They listen to high class jazz (a.k.a. elevator music), drive high class cars that their parents paid for, read high class quasi-literature, wear high class clothes which cost more than a week's pay of the common man. And they talk like they own the world, acting like spoilt brats and insisting that the Earth doesn't revolve around the sun, but rather around themselves.
They're kids. Mainly of the undergraduate age, or fresh into working life (but still living on their parents' dough - they can't possibly pay for the BMW they're already driving).
They earn the rights to show off because they happen to conform to the image of an individual with class - having loads of (their parents') dough, being a student or a graduate of some elite course or scholarship or whatever, and most importantly, adopting the fashion.
Expensive hair salons and professionally-dyed hair is a must. If one needs prescription eyewear, contact lenses is the way to go. Gyms are a must too, because looking fit is a symbol of the higher class - the class that doesn't have to spend every waking hour slogging, the class who has enough time and money for vanity. Oh. And don't forget the Crumpler messenger bags. Expensive fashion is always good fashion.
Oh and did I mention? They love to think they're always right. When they're not. And when an intellectual guy who happens not to be popular pokes holes into their pseudo-intellectual fodder, they'll call that guy a troublemaker unworthy of their high and mighty debate.
That's all to it. Poseurs make me sick.
They're everywhere. In your city and in my city. In America you have your skater boys and hoodie-clad gangsta rapper wannabes. In the UK you have your chavs who wear the latest sporting apparel, no matter how loutish they may look.
Singapore of course, is a nation that always endeavours to top everything. Topping the lists for busy ports, outrageous world records, lack of free speech. And we have exactly 3 different kinds of poseurs.
1. True Ah bengs
These are the real stuff dude. Rising from the ashes of Singapore's heritage of chinese gangsterism, they are people you really should avoid. They not only feel at ease with their loutish and disgraceful behaviour, but embrace it as a form of counterculture.
The true ah bengs have a love for anything shiny, outlandish or attention-seeking. Huge garish tattos cover their arms. Earrings. Many of them. And I'm not taking about any specific gender. They brandish the latest mobile phones - though modded with disgraceful flashing lights - and are not afraid to show the whole world how terrible Chinese pop tunes can sound when they're converted into ringtones.
And they speak almost exclusively in hokkien. But it's not really an effective form of communication, when most of what they say are in reference to various genitalia of both sexes, and suggestions to check out their own mothers.
Avoid them at all costs. They can be nasty. In the late 90s, they were well known for 'staring incidents', where a group of ah bengs would accost a lone guy, accusing him of having stared at them or one of their girls. This often ended up in fights. Whether the poor guys actually stared at them still remains a mystery.
2. Jay-Chou-and-Jolin-Tsai-wannabes-who-end-up-acting-like-ah-bengs (JCAJTWWEUALAB)
Actually when I think about it, those JCAJTWWEUALABs are actually quite a pitiful bunch. Due to their misfortune of having a really retarded taste of music, they worship these idols and adopt their garish and lame culture. What's with the badly-dyed hair and poorly-matched outfits? I'm sure they didn't mean to look terrible, but dude, this is just so wrong. Please pick your sartorial idols more wisely.
They're strongly infuenced by Taiwanese culture, and can quote you a biography of any Taiwanese star, in addition to humming a couple of tunes from each. It's quite impressive that they can do that, since they all look the same, and their music all sound the same, save for some subtle differences that really takes a keen eye or ear to notice. Honestly I can't see the point of filling up one's CD collection with songs that all sound the same.
There's not much to say about them. But they aren't a very civilised bunch, having almost as much social disregard as their true ah beng counterparts.
3. Fairly-Uninvolved-Classy-Kids-Earning-Rights-to-Showoff (FUCKERS)
As you can tell from their elegant-sounding name, they are the worst of the lot. These FUCKERS, like the name says, are fairly uninvolved in the psyche of the common man. They may pretend to act like they're like any average kid and all, but they can NEVER UNDERSTAND how it feels like to be average. (Refer to the lyrics of Pulp's Common People)
They are classy. Or at least they act like it. They listen to high class jazz (a.k.a. elevator music), drive high class cars that their parents paid for, read high class quasi-literature, wear high class clothes which cost more than a week's pay of the common man. And they talk like they own the world, acting like spoilt brats and insisting that the Earth doesn't revolve around the sun, but rather around themselves.
They're kids. Mainly of the undergraduate age, or fresh into working life (but still living on their parents' dough - they can't possibly pay for the BMW they're already driving).
They earn the rights to show off because they happen to conform to the image of an individual with class - having loads of (their parents') dough, being a student or a graduate of some elite course or scholarship or whatever, and most importantly, adopting the fashion.
Expensive hair salons and professionally-dyed hair is a must. If one needs prescription eyewear, contact lenses is the way to go. Gyms are a must too, because looking fit is a symbol of the higher class - the class that doesn't have to spend every waking hour slogging, the class who has enough time and money for vanity. Oh. And don't forget the Crumpler messenger bags. Expensive fashion is always good fashion.
Oh and did I mention? They love to think they're always right. When they're not. And when an intellectual guy who happens not to be popular pokes holes into their pseudo-intellectual fodder, they'll call that guy a troublemaker unworthy of their high and mighty debate.
That's all to it. Poseurs make me sick.
posted by K. C. at 11:14 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home